I am a warrior.
I suit up, teddy bear pajamas covering my torso, red cowgirl boots protecting my feet, and candy bracelets wrapping around my biceps. I cut out the middle of a paper plate, creating a large circle, and wrap it in aluminum foil. This is my chakram, the signature weapon of the warrior princess, and I tie it to my waist with yarn. I grab Jelly Bean, my magnificently white, stick-horse steed. I am ready.
I gallop into the living room for my nightly lesson. As my dad turns on Sci-Fi Channel, Lucy Lawless appears on the screen. Dressed as Xena, Warrior Princess, Lucy and I twirl our swords, throw our chakram, and unleash the battle cry, Aye-yi-yi-yi! When the show ends, I am ready to save my homeland.
Racing across the living room, Jelly Bean and I leap in front of Patty, my Chihuahua, shielding her from the Cyclops that lurks in the hallway. With one flick of my sword, I defeat him. Next, we dash outside to protect the trampoline fortress, which has been overrun by Vikings. I fling my chakram, which sails through the air, its sharp edges easily beheading them all. At my mother’s call, Jelly Bean and I ride back into the house. It, too, is overrun, so before I reach the safety of my room, I must slay goblins and savages and beasts.
When all of my enemies have been vanquished, I collapse onto my bed. Despite the adrenaline of battle, my eyes close within seconds. I sleep soundly, knowing that my home is safe, thanks to me: Kate, Warrior Princess.
This short essay is from my Creative Nonfiction Workshop from Baker University. It was published in Watershed Literary Magazine, where it received the 3rd place Moorman Prize in Prose.
3 thoughts on “Kate, Warrior Princess”
Never make the mistake of going back to watch Xena after the year have gone by. I rather liked that memory until I tried to rekindle it.